{"id":6344,"date":"2022-06-18T16:23:44","date_gmt":"2022-06-18T16:23:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/?p=6344"},"modified":"2022-06-18T16:23:45","modified_gmt":"2022-06-18T16:23:45","slug":"dating-an-overthinker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/dating-an-overthinker\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating an Overthinker: How to Handle Their Constant Worries"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>&#8220;Are you coming on holiday then?&#8221;, asked my girlfriend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;d spent weeks thinking about it, making zero progress, trapped in a vicious vortex of indecision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;d considered every possibility of what to do that summer but just wasn&#8217;t sure I could justify the expenditure or time off work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I seemed incapable of pulling the choice trigger. And analyzing my options didn&#8217;t help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If anything, it just created more doubt, to the point that I was terrified I&#8217;d make the wrong decision, as if such a thing existed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Naturally, my girlfriend was annoyed, (as any fully functional human would be), by my inability to make a simple choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You see, one of the worst aspects of dating an overthinker is that a partner can&#8217;t make plans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Invariably, if they wait for an overthinker to finally decide, they&#8217;ll be waiting forever!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do you have a partner who can&#8217;t help but worry about everything?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If so, then you know just how challenging they can be to date and how much conflict the condition can create.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this blog post, we will discuss how to handle it and maintain a healthy relationship &#8211; plus I&#8217;ll let you know whether I actually went on holiday, you lucky little sausage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Note: if you want to read the best books on overthinking, <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/best-books-overthinking\/\">click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Signs you&#8217;re dating an overthinker<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Likely you already know if you&#8217;re in this position as you&#8217;ll probably be pulling your hair out in frustration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The biggest signs of the condition tend to be rumination on past events or excessive worry about the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some common issues faced by an overthinker:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>They have a hard time making decisions because they overanalyze everything.<\/li><li>They&#8217;re always doubting themselves and their abilities.<\/li><li>They tend to worry about what could go wrong instead of focusing on the positive.<\/li><li>They ruminate on past mistakes and dwell on negative experiences.<\/li><li>They put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How does overthinking affect relationships?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>An overthinker will tend to worry about everything in their relationship, from whether they&#8217;re good enough for their partner to whether their partner is cheating on them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This can lead to a lot of conflicts, arguments, and significant stress for both partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But it&#8217;s not just the big issues that cause problems&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Indeed, often it&#8217;s the cumulative effect of the <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/types-of-decision-making\/\">small daily decisions<\/a> that take their toll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>An overthinker will ponder every small choice and option, and seek validation from their partner before taking action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I honestly have the potential to mentally poke and prod pretty much every aspect of my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Minor things such as what to do on their day off, what was said at a party, or which hoover to buy can cause huge psychological roadblocks for the professional overthinker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Trust me &#8211; I&#8217;ve been there, sliding down the research rabbit hole, convinced that if I just gather more information then my future worries will be easier to manage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As the individual in the couple who has to manage this analysis paralysis, it can become extremely tiring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So let&#8217;s look at some pros and cons if you&#8217;re considering your situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The benefits and drawbacks of this type of relationship<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s not all doom and gloom. Dating an overthinker can be challenging, but it also has its perks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some pros and cons to consider:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Benefits<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Overthinkers are usually intelligent and can hold deep conversations.<\/li><li>They&#8217;re detail-oriented and always prepared.<\/li><li>They tend to be great <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/best-books-problem-solving\/\">problem-solvers<\/a>.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Drawbacks<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Overthinkers can be indecisive and overanalyze everything.<\/li><li>They&#8217;re often pessimistic and worry a lot.<\/li><li>Their perfectionism can be frustrating.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If you have a good balance of personality types as a couple, it can work well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, my girlfriend is quite an intuitive person, able to use her gut feeling to effectively make decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Combine this with a more analytical personality, and you may find that you&#8217;re able to meet somewhere in the middle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to deal with this type of relationship<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;re dating an overthinker, remember that their worrying isn&#8217;t personal &#8211; it&#8217;s just the way they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, here&#8217;s some advice for dealing with the situation:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What this person needs in a relationship<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>An overthinker needs a patient and understanding partner who can offer support and reassurance when they&#8217;re feeling anxious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They also need someone who&#8217;s willing to listen to their worries and help them find solutions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Avoid getting into arguments <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/understanding-fear\/\">about their fears<\/a>, as this will only make things worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, try to gently encourage them to see the positive side of things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>All of this is easier said than done I know!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As an overthinker, I have both admiration and compassion for affected partners. They deserve a medal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What do you tell someone who is overthinking? (and what not to say!)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;re trying to support someone trapped in their own head, there are a few things you should (and shouldn&#8217;t) say:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Do<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>&#8220;It sounds like you&#8217;re really giving this a lot of thought.&#8221;<\/li><li>&#8220;I&#8217;m here for you if you need to talk about your worries.&#8221;<\/li><li>&#8220;Can I help you brainstorm some solutions?&#8221;<\/li><li>&#8220;I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ll figure it out &#8211; you&#8217;re really smart!&#8221;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Don&#8217;t<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>&#8220;You&#8217;re overthinking this.&#8221;<\/li><li>&#8220;Stop worrying, everything will be fine.&#8221;<\/li><li>&#8220;Why can&#8217;t you just relax?&#8221;<\/li><li>&#8220;Stop making such a big deal out of it.&#8221;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Saying the wrong thing can make your partner feel dismissed or invalidated, so make sure you monitor their response and recycle effective strategies for future use.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Practical Tips<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If your partner suffers from this affliction, there are a few practical interventions that might help:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Encourage them to take <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/how-to-improve-decision-making-in-life\/\">breaks from decision-making<\/a> and give themselves time to relax.<\/li><li>Help them brainstorm solutions instead of dwelling on problems.<\/li><li>Remind them of past successes and that they&#8217;re capable of handling whatever comes their way.<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/stream-of-consciousness-journaling\/\">Suggest that they journal<\/a> or talk to a therapist about their worries.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Prioritizing your own health as the partner<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Dating an overthinker can be hard for a partner, but it shouldn&#8217;t put you off if you truly have feelings for the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s a psychological phenomenon that can be managed with the right support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, it&#8217;s vital that you consider your own mental health too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Emotionally, it may become draining and you&#8217;ll need psychological stamina to help your partner navigate their recursive thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If in doubt, consider professional couples therapy to address the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Summary<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>So I finally did go on holibops, and low and behold, had a splendid time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This incident was just one in a long line of many that taught me about the wasted energy of overthinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Despite our best intentions to nail the perfect decision and mitigate against mistakes, there are no wrong outcomes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We can&#8217;t change the past and often don&#8217;t have much control over the future, so simply pick the best option on the available evidence; ideally, one that <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/personal-growth-experiences\/\">leads to personal growth<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then get busy living life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you dating an overthinker? <\/p>\n<p>If so, you might be frustrated by their constant worrying and analysis paralysis.<\/p>\n<p>So click here to learn more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6348,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[101],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Dating an Overthinker: How to Handle Their Constant Worries | Bloomsoup<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you dating an overthinker? 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