{"id":4496,"date":"2020-11-06T17:28:16","date_gmt":"2020-11-06T17:28:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/?p=4496"},"modified":"2021-09-19T15:22:21","modified_gmt":"2021-09-19T15:22:21","slug":"optimal-self-confidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/optimal-self-confidence\/","title":{"rendered":"Optimal Self-Confidence: Building Belief"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>We all want optimal self-confidence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Too high and it becomes arrogance. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1590309235\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1590309235&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=key0b6-20&amp;linkId=b127c155bc80f458154a08a5843da5a1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/\/ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/q?_encoding=UTF8&amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;ASIN=1590309235&amp;ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;ID=AsinImage&amp;WS=1&amp;Format=_SL250_&amp;tag=key0b6-20\" alt=\"\"\/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Too low and it becomes a neurosis. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But it&#8217;s a fine balancing act; one that determines the quality of our personal and professional relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Check out <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1590309235\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=1590309235&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=key0b6-20&amp;linkId=d673284c90a97784ff34f00687f0eebe\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">The Confidence Gap<\/a> if you want to dive deeper down the psychological rabbit hole).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Self-esteem<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Self confidence starts to form in childhood, the nurturing we receive in this critical developmental period frequently dictating how we feel as adults. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Childhood trauma or the lack of emotional support during our younger years can cause a crippling loss of self-belief with significant negative effects. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While people might intermittently be overconfident, a lack of self-esteem seems more prevalent. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Symptomatically, this might present as social shyness, anxiety, overthinking and <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/how-to-make-the-right-decision\/\">decision-making<\/a> difficulties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Low self belief often results in constant second-guessing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Firstly, it can seem almost impossible to make a decision, often because we don&#8217;t trust ourselves enough to make the right one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When we do act, it&#8217;s from a place of constant fear, anticipating impending failure at every turn. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This becomes a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, as we incite the worst-case scenario, bringing it into being. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even when we do muster sufficient courage, low self-confidence creates high sensitivity to external opinion as we constantly try to meet extrinsic expectations, berating ourselves for falling short.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While we can obviously unpack our psychological history with the help of a trained professional, it&#8217;s also important to take personal control where possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Optimal self-confidence<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Let&#8217;s consider for a moment, how optimal self confidence might look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>You have the courage of conviction to <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/life-purpose\/\">decide on your life purpose<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/life-plan\/\">plan for making it happen<\/a><\/li><li>You make decisions swiftly and confidently, assured that you&#8217;ve done your best with the available evidence<\/li><li>You don&#8217;t obsess over external expectations and rather than people-pleasing, stay true to your internal compass<\/li><li>You aren&#8217;t overly fearful of failure, knowing that it&#8217;s an inevitable part of life and an engine for growth<\/li><li>You&#8217;re happy to surround yourself with like minds, who share your vision for life and provide integral emotional support<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>In other words, you believe in yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Belief is a powerful force &#8211; it can help people heal through the <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Placebo\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">placebo effect<\/a>, result in religious fundamentalism or create extreme professional success. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In contrast, low self-confidence sufferers actively believe in their perceived shortcomings, manifesting them even in the absence of supporting evidence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So how can we harness the power of belief to encourage optimal self-confidence?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Emotional growth<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Meditation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Paradoxically, I&#8217;ve found it easier to build self confidence by becoming less dependent on the entire idea of a self. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/meditation\/\">Meditation<\/a> has been an invaluable tool, teaching that our concept of self is really a mind-made phenomenon. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While this can initially be disconcerting, I&#8217;ve actually found it an empowering discovery. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If the self is a mirage, any limitations I place on it are also an illusion, a liberating insight, allowing me to act freely and with less inhibition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Growth mindset<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>People can often be divided into two camps; those with a fixed or <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/growth-mindset-behaviours\/\">growth mindset<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s easy to feel our abilities (and therefore performance) in life are predetermined, influenced by nature and genetics. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While it might be impossible to become a professional basketball player when you&#8217;re 5 feet tall, humans are incredibly adaptable, with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dictionary.com\/browse\/neuroplasticity\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">neuroplasticity<\/a> permitting learning and personal growth at all ages. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Therefore, rather than condemning our lack of confidence as a fixed condition, we can continue to evolve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Action<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>We spend our lives trapped in our heads, constantly judging and self-criticising, which predictably leads to fear and inaction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The antidote? Exposure therapy; feeling the fear and doing it anyway. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Self-confidence issues, magnified by overthinking, might partly be addressed by improving our experience and abilities. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If social situations make us nervous, for example, it may be tempting to shy away from such interactions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like any new skill, however, we can only excel through diligent, deliberate practice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As soon as we start socialising, our fear will diminish and our <a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/effective-communication-skills\/\">communication skills<\/a> will improve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Reflection<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>We&#8217;re often highly biased towards the negative. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While this has undoubtedly kept humans chugging along from a survival perspective, it doesn&#8217;t build self-belief, as we often diminish our wins or discount them entirely. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Engaging in a regular reflective practice on the results of our actions provides a vital feedback loop, helping to identify faulty mental models and maps of reality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Comparing feelings and results in this way can highlight the frequent disparity between the two and help us bring our self-confidence into alignment, allowing positivity to precede action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Belief<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In a way, building from a place of low self-confidence is beneficial. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People lacking self-esteem often seem to be highly attuned to the needs of others, scoring high on the empathy index. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a wonderful trait, which can be supplemented, rather than suppressed, by our confidence gains. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Building self-belief while remaining sympathetic to the needs of others is a true hallmark of emotional intelligence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We all want optimal self-confidence. <\/p>\n<p>Too high and it becomes arrogance. Too low and it becomes a neurosis. <\/p>\n<p>But it&#8217;s a fine balancing act; one that determines the quality of our personal and professional relationships.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4498,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Optimal Self-Confidence: Building Belief | Bloomsoup<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We all want optimal self-confidence. Too high and it becomes arrogance. Too low and it becomes a neurosis. 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