{"id":4409,"date":"2020-10-17T16:37:17","date_gmt":"2020-10-17T16:37:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/?p=4409"},"modified":"2021-09-19T15:29:29","modified_gmt":"2021-09-19T15:29:29","slug":"developing-conversation-skills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/developing-conversation-skills\/","title":{"rendered":"Developing Conversation Skills: How to Become a Smooth Social Operator"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you suffer from social anxiety? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps you can’t maintain eye contact and stumble over your words, looking for the exit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this article, we’ll look at social operations and developing conversation skills to increase your confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Social anxiety<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

“I’ve literally forgotten how to speak”, I said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My friend looked smiled at me, a silent agreement. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’d been working from home behind a laptop screen since changing careers, with minimal human interaction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I did venture forth from my marketing dungeon, even ordering a coffee seemed taxing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sure, I could order a latte, but shooting the social breeze felt unfamiliar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My social skills had atrophied, to the point that simple conversation felt stunted and awkward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I soon warmed up and entered the flow, but it was a reminder that even the most basic abilities are bestowed on a use them or lose them basis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Conversational training<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, I’d used them excessively in the past when, working as a physio, I’d built my conversational muscle like an iron-pumping bodybuilder. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part of working in a people-facing industry, especially health care, is that you have to get good with people. Surprisingly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A huge part of the treatment process is developing rapport, culminating in trust and hopefully a successful rehab outcome. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not to mention that when you’re stuck in a room with someone for 30 mins once or twice a week, it helps if you’re not a weirdo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Working in that environment, you encounter a diverse range of clients, treating people of all backgrounds and walks of life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s essential, therefore, to converse comfortably in all situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This type of professional training certainly helps hone your social skills, so if you’re struggling with the art of communication<\/a>, hopefully, you find the following pointers helpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But first, a quick caveat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One-on-one<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Note that this article is about developing conversation skills in a one-on-one context. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’d argue that group conversations are slightly different from solo encounters in that they’re more performative, involving elements of public speaking<\/a>, which is another skill entirely. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this context, we tend to revert to evolutionary impulses, where egos are easily activated, in order to assume our place within the hierarchy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For this reason, I’ve always preferred one-on-one’s or intimate gatherings, where such posturing recedes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Developing conversation skills<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you only want to improve your surface-level interactions, some of the following tips might appear excessive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But by practising the advice below, however, you’ll not only be prepared for water-cooler chats, but also deeper and more meaningful exchanges with friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If in doubt, just listen <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Although it might sound counterintuitive, a good conversation starts with silence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s the space you give someone to express themselves which allows communication to flow – otherwise, you just have two people shouting over one another. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In our world of noise, it’s rare to find good listeners. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Making someone feel truly heard, however, gives them the freedom to open up for a deeper and more rewarding exchange. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this way, the art of listening is predicated on putting another person over your own conversational needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ask questions <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We’ve all been trapped in conversations where the other person bangs on about themselves, showing zero interest in making it a two-way exchange. BORING! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There’s nothing as off-putting as a narcissistic conversationalist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In order to facilitate active listening, we must first show an active interest in our conversation partner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Demonstrate this by asking them questions. And don’t worry about what – there’s no wrong question. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Simply make them open-ended enough to facilitate further discussion. It’s important to remember that rather than completing a question checklist, your enquiries are motivated by genuine curiosity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don’t try to plan the conversation, but instead enjoy its natural flow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Find commonality<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Asking questions is a great way to seed a conversation with interesting topics, but forging a deeper connection with another human also requires finding areas of common interest. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Otherwise, it simply becomes an interview. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make another person feel understood, we can draw on our own experiences and find parallels with what they’re saying. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contributing your own thoughts and feelings creates a common bond and helps to cultivate shared interests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Empathise <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Think back to the conversations you dread. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often they involve instances of judgement or criticism. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fostering a deep connection is dependent on letting another person speak their mind without fear of reproach. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ability to empathise with another, even if you don’t agree or align with their perspective, is one of the hallmarks of a good communicator. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After all, everyone is entitled to an opinion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just because their worldview doesn’t align with yours, doesn’t mean you can’t explore their position with curiosity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it turns out that there’s no way for compromise, you can still act with compassion before exiting the exchange. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Body language <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Our bodies are often mirrors for our minds. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychological stress frequently manifests in muscular tension<\/a> and anxiety incites physical symptoms like rapid speech and sweaty palms. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Luckily, however, this phenomenon seems bidirectional. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you alter your body language and act as if<\/a>, it’s possible to improve your mindset, especially concerning conversation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before developing the speaking skills we now enjoy, humans evolved to identify thousands subliminal, non-verbal cues, which remain large factors in how we relate to one another. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whilst social anxiety might result in a defensive stance or withdrawn position, true connection involves adopting an open posture and establishing eye contact<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nodding when another person is speaking can signify agreement while standing upright with your shoulders back can increase conversational confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice! <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps the simplest, yet hardest, aspect of being a better conversationalist is practice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While socialising is a daunting prospect for those with public performance anxiety, the only way to overcome your inhibitions is to feel the fear and do it anyway. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As with most things in life, we only overcome our weaknesses through exposure therapy, however awkward or uncomfortable the initiation may be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if the first few rodeos are complete failures, it’s only through sheer repetition that, through trial and error, we learn to become skilled speakers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve experienced this first hand when cold calling sales prospects. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first, my emotions were out of control, resulting in nervous, stuttery calls, with dismal results. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was only after annihilating my fear by picking up the phone repeatedly that I gained the confidence and the skills to sell my proposition. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Developing conversation skills, like most things in life, is a numbers game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Summary<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Communication is what separates humans as a species. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fact that we connect and collaborate verbally is an unprecedented evolutionary leap, which provides unlimited opportunity for those willing to master the art of conversation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to expand your professional network, exchange ideas with like minds, or simply become a smooth social operator at the local coffee shop, invest time in developing conversation skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You won’t regret it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n\n\n
\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you suffer from social anxiety? <\/p>\n

Perhaps you can’t maintain eye contact and stumble over your words, looking for the exit. <\/p>\n

In this article, we’ll look at social operations and developing conversation skills to increase your confidence. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4411,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nDeveloping Conversation Skills: How to Become a Smooth Social Operator | Bloomsoup<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you suffer from social anxiety? In this article, we'll look at developing conversation skills to increase your confidence. 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