{"id":3642,"date":"2020-04-05T13:24:23","date_gmt":"2020-04-05T13:24:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/?page_id=3642"},"modified":"2021-09-19T15:54:54","modified_gmt":"2021-09-19T15:54:54","slug":"best-self-mike-bayer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/best-self-mike-bayer\/","title":{"rendered":"Best Self Summary (Mike Bayer)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Are you living the kind of life you desire?<br>&nbsp;<br>Or are you just plodding through existence waiting for it to end?<br>&nbsp;<br>The fact is, we all have untapped potential and unrealised dreams, but we\u2019re rarely educated on how to access or achieve them.<br><br>Instead, many of us quit life learning and simply stick to our self-made status quo.<br><br>If you\u2019re tired of your current reality, start with this Best Self summary.<br><br>Based on years self-reflection and experience by life coach, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.coachmikebayer.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Mike Bayer<\/a>, you\u2019ll emerge with actionable insights to apply today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Define your best and anti-selves<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re often told we\u2019re unique little snowflakes. But this doesn\u2019t help us know ourselves better.<br><br>Often we navigate life feeling that something\u2019s a little off and that we may not be acting in alignment with our authentic self.<br><br>After all, this stuff isn\u2019t taught in dusty ol\u2019 school classrooms.<br><br>Well, we actually have two selves:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Our positive best self &#8211; the person we want to be <\/li><li>Our negative anti-self &#8211; the one holding us back<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Each one can act as a template if we allow it, so we must define their attributes and bring them to life so we know who\u2019s in control.<br><br>Let\u2019s get started:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Best self<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol><li><strong>Create positive traits &#8211;<\/strong> write out a list of your positive traits, even if you don\u2019t always embody them<\/li><li><strong>Create your best self &#8211;<\/strong> amalgamate these traits into an imaginary being that displays said qualities. Even if it\u2019s a mystical character like Merlin, it should be someone you can sketch and hang on the wall and visualise effectively<\/li><li><strong>Express gratitude &#8211;<\/strong> Connect with your best self by identifying 10 things you\u2019re grateful for<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Anti-self<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Our anti-self is the raging monster that\u2019s triggered within us when we encounter the negativity that life often produces. <br><br>It could be the dark side which emerges when you experience road rage or criticism. It\u2019s the side we\u2019d like to see less often.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol><li><strong>Identify negative traits &#8211;<\/strong> like above, list them out, however painful<\/li><li><strong>Create your anti-self &#8211;<\/strong> make this visual representation as cartoonish and memorable as you like, something you can easily call to mind<\/li><li><strong>Recount past incidents &#8211;<\/strong> Recall five incidents when the anti-self was in full beast mode. Compare those reactions with the likely response from your best self above. Contrasting your reactions will help make the conscious and malleable.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Basic tenets for finding your best self<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Curiosity<\/li><li>Honesty<\/li><li>Openness<\/li><li>Willingness<\/li><li>Focus<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Fear is the problem, honesty is the solution<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We all encounter obstacles in life. It\u2019s inevitable.<br><br>Fear is one of the main obstacles to becoming our best self.<br><br>However, it&#8217;s often unfounded and prevents positive action.<br><br>The way to overcome it is via honesty.<br><br>Here\u2019s how to get honest to see which fears are founded and how to overcome them:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>List your fears&nbsp;to put them to the test<\/li><li>Create an action plan to focus on solutions vs the fear itself<\/li><li>The next time you experience fear, visualise minimising the anxiety and throwing it away<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Rituals can also be a powerful method to minimise fear, including:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>An effective morning routine<\/li><li>Gratitude<\/li><li>Positive affirmations\/mantras<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How to become our best self<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We can become our best self by exploring all aspects of our lives using the acronym &#8216;SPHERES&#8217;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Social life<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>As humans, research says we\u2019re wired to socialise. <br><br>Leading an active social life with close connections has been shown to enhance wellbeing.<br><br>According to the author, we should build this time into our schedule, not just with people we know, but also with new connections.<br><br>The problem? <br><br>Few of us are natural social slickers and the thought of making new chums might bring us out in a cold sweat.<br><br>Three tips to beat the fear:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Prepare conversation openers ahead of time<\/li><li>Be present, ask questions, actively listen and give compliments<\/li><li>Use open body language e.g. an open posture, and employ non-verbal cues like engaged eye-contact<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Imagine a great social life and contrast this with what you do now. Try to close the gap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Personal life<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You can\u2019t help others until you help yourself and this starts with your personal life.&nbsp;<br><br>Self-care isn\u2019t selfish, but rather provides the means for you to nourish others.<br><br>Our internal dialogue changes our brain function, for the better or for the worse.<br><br>As we\u2019re often our own worst critics, we need to imagine an alarm sounding when we experience negative thoughts, and replace this thought with its positive counterpart.<br><br>We should try instead to infuse our personal lives with compassion<br><br>Tools:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Mindful, deep breathing<\/li><li>Exercise<\/li><li>Sleep<\/li><li>Hobbies<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Health<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a foundational aspect for the other SPHERE elements.<br><br>A key component to getting healthier is awareness and realising how your actions have a detrimental effect on wellbeing.<br><br>Rather than perfection, aim for improvement and becoming healthier than you are now.<br><br>Keys:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Food is fuel for your best self<\/li><li>Output is a direct consequence of input<\/li><li>Eat well and exercise<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Education<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Your best self is a lifelong learner and thirsty for knowledge.&nbsp;<br><br>Rather than school days, when we were force-fed material, discovering a topic we\u2019re interested in makes learning easy and natural at any age.<br><br>We must simply identify these topics. <br><br>Write down your interests and what you\u2019d love to learn before thinking about what&#8217;s holding you back.<br><br>Self-awareness is key.<br><br>Learning is integral to the evolution of our best self and can be achieved through online courses and podcasts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Relationships<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You can only control yourself and showing up every day as your best self will result in better relationships.<br><br>To improve your relationships, first become aware of your core values, allowing you to identify the same values in your relationships with others.<br><br>Even if you didn\u2019t experience secure relationships when you were young, you can work on your relationships in later life by manifesting your best self.<br><br>There\u2019s nothing wrong with being single, but if you&#8217;re in a romantic relationship, here are two myths:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>A great relationship requires constant romance &#8211; forget about the Hollywood blockbusters. The difference between falling in love and being in love is simply a transition in your relationship<\/li><li>A great relationship is always harmonious &#8211; arguing is natural and can strengthen relationships if your best self is in control<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Employment<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>What would your best self love to do for work? <br><br>If you\u2019re not doing that, you\u2019re wasting a significant chunk of life.<br><br>Work isn\u2019t all about money and shouldn\u2019t be infused with dread. <br><br>While we all have bad days, every day shouldn\u2019t be bad.<br><br>Perhaps your employment requires a minor modification or a complete overhaul.<br><br>Alternatively, perhaps the problem doesn\u2019t reside with your job, but with you.<br><br>Can you change your perspective, adopt a positive outlook and create a self-fulling relationship with work?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Spiritual life<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>An oft-neglected piece of the puzzle where your integrity, values and actions towards others originate.<br><br>Here are some tips for spiritual practice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Develop a spiritual intention<\/li><li>Spend time in quiet reflection e.g. through meditation, at least once a week<\/li><li>Be open to positive change in the universe<\/li><li>Be grateful, acknowledging the positive change<\/li><li>Be playful, have fun and pay it forward<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>The people we socialise with influence our SPHERE more than anything. <br><br>By surrounding yourself with a strong team, you strengthen your best self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Growing your SPHERE<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When you\u2019ve reflected on your SPHERE, you\u2019ll know which areas of life require rebalancing.<br><br>When this is clear, choose an aligned goal, reverse engineer it and track your progress.<br><br>Focus on a strategy within your control and keep yourself accountable as you grow into the type of person you wish to become.<br><br>In this way, you\u2019ll live a life congruent with your best self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like this? Then&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/category\/books\/summaries\/\">browse more book summaries<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Living your ideal life? <\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re tired of your current reality, start with this Best Self summary, based on the book by life coach, Mike Bayer<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3644,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[88,87],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Best Self Summary (Mike Bayer) | Bloomsoup<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Living your ideal life? 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