Officially, suffering can be defined<\/a> as,<\/p>\n\n\n\n “The state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship”<\/p>\n\n\n\n In my mind, a large part<\/em> of suffering is the gap between your expectations and your current perception of reality. Everyone suffers. We all encounter it sooner or later. There are infinite shades of suffering, everyone experiencing a different colour through their unique world lens: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps the most common on the lower end of the scale is discomfort. Many of us suffer from health issues, whether that\u2019s short term pain, as in the exercise example above, or chronic health conditions. Our expectation was that we wouldn\u2019t lose that thing or person, and then reality punches us in the face, reminding us that the universe is unpredictable and impermanent. Mental suffering is the canvas on which every other form of suffering is painted, and comes in many shades. Suffering seems like a survival mechanism, baked into the human condition to make us avoid not nice things that kill us. If you\u2019re suffering now, either from physical pain or mental anguish, you likely want some helpful strategies. So, here you go… <\/p>\n\n\n\n Suffering physical or psychological pain? Getting the basics in order is fundamental to making progress. I won\u2019t go into great detail, but imagine the essential elements of a healthy life: eating well, sleeping enough, spending time with loved ones, routines<\/a> etc. While these methods won\u2019t solve all forms of suffering, by not doing them, you\u2019re almost guaranteeing that suffering will persist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Many people want to escape suffering as soon as they encounter it. But running away isn\u2019t the answer. Avoiding psychological issues or physical pain only strengthens our alarm system, as the mind and body try to alert us to a potential problem. As a physiotherapist<\/a>, I experienced this often. Patients would ignore their physical symptoms for months and even years, before their condition deteriorated to the extent that they could barely move. Therefore, it\u2019s essential to address the suffering early. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Learning to meditate<\/a> is the essential first step in approaching suffering with an open, impartial attitude. Becoming aware of our mind, we realise the suffering might not be so bad. Our normal reaction to escape from it is often an overreaction. Once we explore our natural aversion to these feelings, we diminish their power. Meditation allows us to observe thoughts\/emotions and in many cases, befriend them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Having established a habit of self-awareness, we can begin to tell ourselves more empowering stories<\/a> about our suffering. If the suffering is temporary, such as with exercise, this can be especially useful. Harnessing the power of thought<\/a> by telling yourself that you\u2019re the type of person who invests in their health today for a better tomorrow can help your endure short-lived discomfort for long-term reward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n With practice, I believe that it\u2019s not only possible to reduce the impact of suffering, but even train ourselves to love it. By treating such emotions as signs of growth, we know we’re making positive progress. For example, I\u2019m currently struggling with motivation while writing this article after a long day, but I use the discomfort as fuel for the fire, aware that I\u2019m training a muscle by doing hard things I don\u2019t feel like doing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
By this, I mean that although particular life challenges are potential triggers, external circumstances matter less than your internal landscape, with suffering arising in seemingly benign or positive conditions.
Confused? Keep reading… <\/p>\n\n\n\nWho’s affected?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
It seems to be a design feature of life, neither discriminating nor respecting privilege or position.
Take the depressed millionaire.
They might have imagined that their life would be complete upon achieving success (expectations) and having finally “made it\u201d, they discover they still have to deal with their pesky thoughts and emotions (reality).
In this way, wealth is a poor predictor of the suffering someone experiences.
Some may assume that suffering is solely the result of external events and vicissitudes of life, but this simply isn\u2019t true.
Accidents, trauma and bereavement are likely to cause short term pain but aren\u2019t indicative of long term suffering, whereas money and success may be poor predictors of long-term contentment. <\/p>\n\n\n\nTypes of pain<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Discomfort<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
We’re constantly buffeted by this sensation.
Every time we inch beyond our comfort zone, it\u2019s there, lurking like an evil goblin.
Flirting around its edges, most people turn back to the warm safety of the familiar<\/a>, unwilling or unable to push into the pain.
This type of suffering is usually short-lived, although our brains argue otherwise at the moment of action.
Pushing yourself on the treadmill? You can simply decide to switch off the discomfort whenever you wish and retreat to the comfort of a nice hot shower. <\/p>\n\n\n\nPhysical <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Real pain is one of the hardest examples of suffering to accommodate.
Try having a philosophical debate with someone who\u2019s slipped a disc, and they\u2019ll likely tell you where to go.
Can real pain be said to be more legitimate than other forms of suffering? Perhaps.
In the definition above, I said a large part <\/em>of suffering was the gap between expectations and reality, while physical pain really does hurt. A lot!
However, there\u2019s also an expectation element.
We expect not to have to suffer, but that pesky pain just keeps on coming.
We expend significant mental energy wishing our tooth didn\u2019t hurt, adding mental anguish to our considerable physical symptoms.
Although physical pain deterrents are essential for survival, on the sliding scale of pain, there\u2019s much more slack in the system than we think.
Just take walking on hot coals. In the throes of religious or spiritual ecstasy, pain tolerance increases significantly.
When there\u2019s purpose behind the pain, it seems like otherwise debilitating physical symptoms can be endured.<\/p>\n\n\n\nLoss e.g. bereavement <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
A large part of the Buddhist doctrine focuses on attachment and its association with suffering.
This is often addiction to the pursuit of pleasure, but frequently, we become attached to the important people in our lives.
We imagine them as indestructible and unchanging, unanswerable to the laws that govern others.
And when they\u2019re gone, we not only feel the loss of their absence, but have to question our fundamental perception of reality.
Like a rug pulled from under us, if the person or relationship we were attached so securely to is now gone, what else in the world can we possibly trust? <\/p>\n\n\n\nMental<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s take anxiety as an example…
When we\u2019re anxious we fret about a future with hasn’t happened.
As we attempt to plan out intricate futures, we constantly try to close the gap between our expectations and reality.
Although like an optical illusion, the gap remains, no matter how fast we run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"man](\"https:\/\/bloomsoup.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/man-in-pain-meditating.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\nWhy must we suffer?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Often pain, whether physical or psychological, alerts us to issues and encourages us to seek a remedy.
Physical discomfort is a prime example.
There are some people who don\u2019t feel pain due to a condition called Congenital Insensitivity to Pain and Anhydrosis (CIPA)<\/a>.
You\u2019d think that this was a superpower, but alas no.
These people have a terrible time, because they constantly injure themselves, sometimes seriously, without ever noticing.
Low-level discomfort, however, differs somewhat, our suffering alert system operating on caveman technology rather than 21st-century software.
Evolutionarily, most forms of suffering would have been legitimate causes for concern.
If you were cold, wet and hungry on the Savannah, such signs would provide the motivation to seek shelter and warmth or run the risk of shuffling off the mortal coil.
Now, when we\u2019re cold, wet and hungry, much of the developed world is only a few steps away from central heating and an stocked fridge.
Rather than the life and death situation of millennia before, a genuine survival threat no longer remains.
But our mental operating system hasn\u2019t evolved in sync with our environment.
And as a hangover, our mind is hypersensitised, repeatedly pinging threat signals to an overactive imagination, with suffering produced as a by-product.
In modern life, much of the low-level discomfort and suffering we experience is a throwback to yesteryear, able to be safely observed and de-escalated with no further thinking or action required.
However, this is a mental skill few of us wield effectively (until now!)<\/p>\n\n\n\nHow to cope with suffering<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Lifestyle<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Familiarity <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Meditation <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. Reframing <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. Love <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Summary<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n