Want to learn how to be a smooth operator?
If you want to flex your romantic muscles, The Art of Seduction summary, based on a book by Robert Greene, may help level up your skills.
Derived from the Latin word seducere, meaning ‘to lead astray’, seduction plays into many of our deepest desires.
However, it might also be a precursor to love and a traditional relationship.
How to do it? Build the following:
- Anticipation
- Mystery
- Charm
But here’s the caveat – it must be done without appearing disingenuine or manipulative.
Let’s see how…
The Art of Seduction Summary
- Exploit the fact that many are looking for excitement in otherwise quotidian daily lives.
- Use this as an opportunity to skillfully inflame passions and desire.
- However, it’s a delicate balancing act. Don’t appear overeager.
- Approach obliquely. Remain elusive, projecting a mysterious air.
- Don’t reveal your hand too soon. Rather, ingratiate yourself.
- Ideally, let them approach you and stay neutral, giving them the impression that they’re making the move.
- Spider-like, the seducer knows how to build a desirable web.
Contradiction
- It’s a psychological game – no-one likes an easy conquest.
- Firstly, stimulate your target through appearance/actions and then send mixed signals.
- Become the enigma, a walking paradox to be solved.
- E.g. Act innocent and suddenly become flirty.
- Experiment with gender roles, mixing masculine and feminine traits.
- Move towards and away from your target – flirt, but then step back into self-sufficiency.
Insecurities
- We crave attention to compensate when we feel something missing in our lives
- Note: seduction won’t work on someone who’s completely satisfied.
- Show how you can heal pain and emptiness.
- People fall in love when they believe someone will banish their existential angst – anxiety, insecurity, apathy etc.
- The same holds true for political and business spheres – we buy products because we believe they’ll improve our lives, making us whole.
- Note – be careful with another person’s self-esteem, as they may believe themselves unworthy of affection.
- Lower their protective mechanisms by making them the centre of attention.
- Slowly assert your superiority so that your target is eager to prove their worth.
Flattery
- Shine a light on your target’s attributes.
- Provides an addictive boost in their self-esteem.
- Deep down, we’re all narcissists and seek significant others who share our beliefs, tastes and experiences.
- Therefore, mimic your target’s disposition.
Piquing interest
- Take attention and then take control.
- Tease them and then keep them on their toes.
- If you’re boring, your object of desire will lose interest. Like any good book, offer novelty, suspense and spontaneity by remaining unpredictable.
- Try to view this as a fun challenge, using surprise to pique their interest.
- Take them to new places, give them unexpected gifts, alter your style.
- Try peacocking, glamorising your personal appearance or environment.
Getting serious
- Show you’re a virtuous, caring and selfless person.
- This will demonstrate your trustworthiness.
- Pay attention and stay attuned to your target’s needs.
- When the opportunity arises, step in to solve a problem or do them a favour.
- Show them you care through your actions.
Childhood memories
- Childhood memories exert huge power over us, and once unearthed, your target will be more receptive to you.
- Use their memories to strengthen your emotional connection (many of Freud’s patients fell in love with him by recollecting moving memories in his presence, in an effect known as ‘transference’)
- We all yearn for our carefree days of youth. By stimulating these feelings, your target will begin to associate them with you.
- Start by working on your listening skills. Encourage them to share old stories and note their emotional reactions.
- Listen also for recurrent themes, and what is left unsaid.
- Use this information to fulfil your target’s deepest needs.
Avoiding common pitfalls
- Avoid giving a bad first impression by recognising the following…
- Don’t be ungenerous – the inability to give materially is unattractive and a signal that you won’t give emotionally.
- Don’t be humourless – it’s a sign that you’re too rigid and unyielding. It may also indicate that you’re overly sensitive or insecure, major turn-offs.
- Don’t be inattentive – seduction relies on the observation of details. Therefore, you must be able to read a situation and observe its subtleties.
Top tip
Surround yourself with friends and admirers, using social proof to woo your target.
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